Holding my son.

So sad that today I had to hold my 13 year old while he balled and held me tight. So sad that at 13 he had to deal with the death of a classmate. She was in 8th grade. She I guess was being bullied and decided to shoot herself in the temple. Parker didn't know her well but he took it hard. They had counselors at school. I have been crying all day because of this. My son struggles everyday because of his TBI and I worry sooo much about him getting teased. I honestly don't know if he does. I plan on talking to him tomorrow about it. Tonight we talked about if he ever needs to talk t me and Kevin w are here no matter how bad it is. We don't want him to feel like he can't come to us. I just let him cry,cried with him held him told him I loved him held him. He soaked my shirt with his tears.

Parker update

So 3 weeks ago we went to Gillette's and he saw a neurophsycologist. They did a lot of testing on him. All day long from 10 till 4:30 pm. So yesterday we had the results. He really hasn't improved from 3 years ago when he had testing. He is in 7th grade this year. For reading and writing he is at a 2nd grade level. He has not really made any progress. For math he is at a 3rd grade level. He has a hard time switching gears and needs to be helped to shift. He also excels more than peers with hearing something and regaining it or hands on and regaining it. He just cannot not read and process and regaining it. Memory recall is a little better. Organization is hard for him. Remember what he needs to have or bring home from school is hard for him. We also learned that he has high Anxiety and that is why he has his anger issues and outburst. He feels the need to please and worries about all of this. So we are to see a counselor so they can help him with control or we can do medication ( depression meds) She would like to see him have his txt on audio since that is how he seems to learn best. Also no main stream classes in reading, writing like they are doing now. Ugh so much was said When I get the report in a few weeks I can update even more thorough. She also gave us a place to check out that are advocates for special needs kids in school. In some cases they will even send a person to come to IEP's to be a advocate so I am going to check into that. It is sad to hear he hasn't improved but honestly it does not surprise me. My poor baby he is going to always struggle I am fearing High School and I fear for his future and jobs. I am thankful he is living in when all essence he shouldn't be but beaus of one bad choice on my mothers part turning left in a no turn area to chase somebody down he will struggle his whole life.

I am no writer

I am putting this out there right now. I am not great at spelling nor do I know the proper punctuations and if I ever do get followers that are anal about those kinds of things than I will most def drive you nuts. This blog isn't going to be perfect because I am not perfect I am far from that. I am starting this blog because I need a place to vent and get feelings out. I watched the movie Julie and Julia or is it Julia and Julie, anyway I am sure you know what movie I am talking about. Julie in the movie started a blog to complete something in her life. I like her am starting a blog to complete something in my life. I want to become a better, happier person. Days leading up to this blog I have done nothing but cry because of a job and a person at this job. In this case I resigned from a job I loved ( didn't care for the person at the job that made it crap) Which led me to be home to watch that movie by myself. I am also starting a journey in reading The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. So I am sure I will blog about that in this journal of My so called life.